The king is probably dead long live the king
Quote
You are only a leader if people are willing to follow
It has been hard to shake the concern that my current commercial role has not worked out, probably not really been working for quite a while in hindsight. Was it ever really working?
Some aspects have greatly improved but there are some fundamental communication constraints that I really didn't understand the cause of (plenty of assumptions, but not enough communication or time to really address these challenges).
There are the common systemic challenges that come from working at any startup that is working hard to establish itself as a long term sustainable business. This was a given. A new person coming into this environment that has been running for many years leaves a lot of context unknown and typically unspoken.
I continued to try identify the causes throughout the week and trying to evaluate if there is any appetite and opportunity to address these within our typical schedule. It did feel that the more I tried to connect the quicker the feeling of connection slipped away.
I believe my frustration and disappointment have been leaking out over the last month, which I am disappointed about as well.
It is always a challenge for an engineering manager to identify where they can add value. For much of the current role I never seemed to connect with the team at a deep enough level. It is too easy to feel I am simply not needed by the team as the communication has been very limited. In once exceptional case, it was easy to feel my presence was simply not wanted.
Tuesday I was really exhausted, partly because of the continued cough but also the concerns that I still wasn't able to break through to the team (especially if they feel unsafe to ask questions). I am not sleeping well and need to find energy to exercise more.
Wednesday I made time for self-reflection as part of the company feedback initiative. I did struggle to quantify to myself what I had done. In hindsight I should have spend more time on this and consulted my journal, although I still feel I would come up short of my own lofty goals for the role.
Friday was the end of my commercial current role.
The title of this article is from the first episode of the first series of the Black Adder TV show. There were quite a few Shakepearean quotes used for comic effect.
Onboardingλ︎
When someone new starts they are overflowing with enthusiasm. Having a clear plan helps balance that enthusiam with all the mundane tasks that should be done early, so they are not a continual distraction.
In the months leading up to the new starter the team was asked for specific things they could work on. The team were very focused on the new feature so had little opportunity to think about this. This feature is complete and the team have more scope to support and pair with our new engineer.
Even switching to time-boxed engineer priorities work seemed challenging, as the engineers are not used to considering what work is important to them.
Groundhog day for movies but not workλ︎
I love a good 'Groundhog day' homage in a movie or tv series
When it comes to a groundhog experience at work, repeating mistakes that we had moved away from, it feels like a huge step backwards. Our current planned work feels like we are falling into older and more familiar patterns that didnt work well, especially rushing into new work without clearer definition. At least everyone is well aware of these challenges, although making them part of our default approach may take some time (especially under percieved timeline pressures).
I am trying to push back and ensure we have clarity and time, only doing the essential work. This should avoid the kinds of problems experienced previously.
Stargate SG-1 Episode
An excellent exploration of the 'groundhog day' or time-loop effect was presented in the Stargate SG1 'Window of Opporunity' episode
Two of the main characters become stuck in a time loop. Once they realise they are stuck they try everything they can think of to break out, all of which leading to failure. Eventually they decide to take a day off and enjoy themselves.
Sometimes you need to step away from a challenge before you can start to resolve it.
Thank you.
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