As we come to the end of 2025 I continue to contemplate what is next?
Do I want to continue in the software engineering industry with its many systemic faults?
Or should I branch out and do something completely different?
80,000 hours is a guide to careers that have a positive impact on the world.
My searching for a new home are currently focusing on the East coast of Scotland (which is dryer than London at the moment). Aberdeen (the granite city) has good support for cycling and a few cycle clubs in the area.
Wired up my Playstation 4 and VR headset to start playing games again. During more severe covid symptoms I couldnt wear the VR headset as it put too much pressure on my head. From an hour of play today, the VR headset felt okay.
I had a few quick games of Stardust and one surprisingly successful game of Polybius.
Feeling a little sick so binging on movies and shows on Apple TV+. On Monday afternoon Apple TV+ would not stream content (the play button disappeared) although I could browse the catalogue of shows. After several hours the play button came back, although contacting Apple support was quite pointless.
A relaxing week trying out some new vegetarian and vegan meals. Pieminister Mooless Moo pie is a plant based stake and ale pie, using jackfruit for the stake pieces. The pastry was lovely and crispy and the pie was very filling. The only downside to the pie for me was it was the taste and texture was too much like beef and I've never really liked that even when I did eat meat.
New potatoes, Edamame, Spinach and Garden Peas complement the pie, along with some very thick Bisto Best Vegetable Gravy (I add way too many granules to make the gravy nice and thick).
In season 2, episode 2 of "The Big Door Prize" they talk about "Finding your Joy". This seems like an inspiring new years resolution, or at least a theme I should focus on for 2025.
You only live one life and you should take time out to enjoy it. There were many aspects to 2024 that constrained my joy, so I will endeavour to may 2025 a most joyous year.
Converted some audio files to Opus codec, which provides a really optimum compression and allows for relatively low bit rates and results in much smaller files with the same quality.
Neovim upcoming changes
neovim 0.11 has some breaking changes, so assume early in 2025
Black Friday as a concept is confusing as it no longer has anything to do with a specific Friday and currently seems to cover at least 2 weeks of promotions. I did get some good prices even before Black Friday actually started.
Adventures with SSD and NAS Versions kept me busy over the weekend, resurrecting an older NAS unit with Solid State Drives for a very quiet media storage device.
On the Practicalli GitHub Org, action log retention time was minimised to a week (from 90 days) as I don't need to wade through that history and it will save a bit of storage in the Cloud. I am surprised GitHub have such a high default for their free plans.
Upgraded to a Dell 40 inch 5k2k monitor for work and it makes a huge difference. Its a beautiful monitor and it works really well with Linux and the tiling window of Regolith Desktop (i3).
I am continuing my search for a new place to live, even further into the countryside with easy access to hiking and cycling activities.
Although I am always thankful for an opportunity to work with a commercial company, I do feel the weight lifted from my shoulders now that relationship has concluded. Within hours I started to feel the return of much of the energy I have been lacking for the last few months.
They do say a change is as good as a rest, so investing time in Practicalli content is giving me an energy boost.
You are only a leader if people are willing to follow
It has been hard to shake the concern that my current commercial role has not worked out, probably not really been working for quite a while in hindsight. Was it ever really working?
Some aspects have greatly improved but there are some fundamental communication constraints that I really didn't understand the cause of (plenty of assumptions, but not enough communication or time to really address these challenges).
There are the common systemic challenges that come from working at any startup that is working hard to establish itself as a long term sustainable business. This was a given. A new person coming into this environment that has been running for many years leaves a lot of context unknown and typically unspoken.
I continued to try identify the causes throughout the week and trying to evaluate if there is any appetite and opportunity to address these within our typical schedule. It did feel that the more I tried to connect the quicker the feeling of connection slipped away.
I believe my frustration and disappointment have been leaking out over the last month, which I am disappointed about as well.
It is always a challenge for an engineering manager to identify where they can add value. For much of the current role I never seemed to connect with the team at a deep enough level. It is too easy to feel I am simply not needed by the team as the communication has been very limited. In once exceptional case, it was easy to feel my presence was simply not wanted.
Tuesday I was really exhausted, partly because of the continued cough but also the concerns that I still wasn't able to break through to the team (especially if they feel unsafe to ask questions). I am not sleeping well and need to find energy to exercise more.
Wednesday I made time for self-reflection as part of the company feedback initiative. I did struggle to quantify to myself what I had done. In hindsight I should have spend more time on this and consulted my journal, although I still feel I would come up short of my own lofty goals for the role.
Friday was the end of my commercial current role.
The title of this article is from the first episode of the first series of the Black Adder TV show. There were quite a few Shakepearean quotes used for comic effect.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Johnny Stevenson (maybe others)
People are wonderfully complex experiences
My feelings of disappointed with my current commercial role are returning to the forefront of my mind. Many aspects of the role and company seem to be clear in peoples minds but not always effectively shared. I think I understand the role and then something else happens that makes me feel I don't. I believe something will need to change soon for the benefit of all.
There have been a few highlights with the role, but I expected more of myself and the company. I do set high expectations for myself, although have learned to be more kind about what I can realistically achieve and 'which battles to fight' (figuratively speaking of course).
During this engagement I have continually reset my expectations about what could be achieved and what I could realistically achieve. There are a couple of peers where there has been conflict without understanding of why I am seen as the cause. I have tried to explore but if people do have issues with me its not clearly being communicated to me.
In hindsight, many opportunities to get support from my manger and peers were missed. Mostly as we had so many challenges to discuss and partly due to pressures of delivery.
When a person doesn't have clarity around a problem then there is very little they can do to resolve or adapt.
A self-reflection review is in progress and its is a good opportunity to take my own time to reflect on my current role and if its still the right fit for me.
Busy week at work getting ready for a new team member. I spent Friday afternoon building up a relationship and getting accustom to spending time working together. Several weeks of work had been done to get ready for the new starter.
One of the interesting challenges for anyone starting a new job is to ensure too much enthusiasm doesnt lead to missing important steps. It will be a good first check-in with the new starter to see if they have been too enthusiastic or taken a more measured approach.
